Making friends with fear

When a true friend has the courage to give you difficult feedback, how do you respond? With an open heart, ready to listen and understand? Or do you feel the urge to push back?

I imagine the answer to that might be “it depends”: on how you’re feeling; what kind of feedback it is; and… timing.

Fear is a bit like that too. We may or may not see it coming, and it’s rarely welcome. And yet, if we’re able to see it as an important messenger - and not as something to be pushed down or fought off - then maybe, on a good day, we might be able to see it as a friend looking out for us. After all, our fears are a part of us - however unwelcome they may be.

And this feels especially relevant right now – for leaders navigating uncertainty, disruption, and rapid change. What if we stopped trying to conquer fear, and started listening to what it’s trying to show us?

This week’s episode of the Fearless Forward podcast is all about befriending fear. My guest, Liz Hall, is a recognised thought leader in psychological safety, race equity in coaching, and the climate emergency. She has pioneered the integration of mindfulness into coaching practice, and her latest book Relational Mindfulness for Coaches supports coaches to co-create compassionate, psychologically safe yet courageous coaching spaces.

Liz is also a journalist, coach, and founding editor and co-owner of Coaching at Work magazine, which last year celebrated its 20th anniversary.

In Liz’s story, we hear how fear was present for her – many times over. When she became the first editor of a brand new magazine. And a few years later when she chose to buy it. And… in situations when speaking up might disrupt harmony.

In our conversation Liz offers three key perspectives on fear:

• Connecting with your deeper purpose can help you move forward with - not despite - your fear.

• Compassion isn’t a soft option. Self-compassion is a viable antidote to the inner critic: a way of being with our difficulties without getting stuck in them.

• Mindfulness isn’t an escape or a quest for self-improvement. It’s a way of being awake to what’s happening – moment by moment - and noticing the inner patterns that shape us, so that we can choose, consciously and compassionately, how to respond.

With love from the mountain,

Sally-Anne